It always seems to begin about a 7 days before I leave you. It starts with short throbs of pulsing aches. Then as I draw closer to the date of departure, it gains strength and endurance.
I cannot control it, try to turn it on or off is impossible.
I don't even think about it, it is as if there's an alarm set in my heart and somehow it keeps the count down time of when I will no longer be able to reach out and touch you at will.
Oh, how I hate this feeling! Yet, it reminds me of how much you are a part of not just my life but my very soul. If I had to leave a limb behind, how much easier it would be!
Yes, its been 35 years of knowing and loving you, but I never imagined it would penetrate so deep and wide. You have long surpassed my mind, my body, my soul. Now I understand what the Bible says when it says to Love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and STRENGTH.
You are my strength, my strength to go on and live.
I know if anything ever happened to me and I had to leave you on earth, that I would still be with you. I know I would not separate from you, only by flesh. Just like Jesus said He would never leave us and promised. How do I know this? Because Heaven would not be heaven without you. Sounds cliche but true. My heaven is being with Jesus and you at the same time.
That's how I know.
Just as Jesus says to me, so I say to you, "You will never know how much I love you."
Dibbs
3 comments:
Momma, I think I inherited the ache from you. I always experience the same feeling when I seperate from those I love. The ache is an expression of perfect divine love that will only cease to exist in heaven. The ache is painful but somewhat beautiful. Its within these emotions that we truly realize what we have and will have, forever.
everytime you visit & leave bobby tells me about the ache! (he gets it when he visits you and has to leave too) something about parting ways he tells me...i love yr connected spirits!
mom, that was beautiful and put me on the verge of tears. I can completely empathize with the 'ache', as robert said it has been passed on to your children. Reading the way you feel about Dad puts me beyong expression; it gives me hope for an even more beautiful marriage and relationship than I have experienced thus far. I can only pray that I can become a small fraction of the women you are.
Post a Comment