I miss you Mom

I miss you Mom, even though they are surprised.
They think because I am older now, have my kids out of the house, married, that somehow I don't miss you or dad anymore.

It doesn't seem to change. I still long for you and dad as I did when I was a little girl. I still wish I could sit on Dad's lap, hold his rugged hand. Sometimes I would close my eyes and pretend I am still snuggled against your chest. Strange, just realized that is one of my first and strongest memory with you and now I think of it, it was also the last position I was in when we said goodbye.

I always ask myself what it is about you and dad that I miss. I am happily married, love my job, my life, I am spoiled by all the riches of life.... why do I miss you? What is it that I miss about you? Why can't I shake the longing out of my mind?

I go around and around trying to disect my feelings and wonder the reasons for my soul feeling so incomplete without you on earth. I don't think I will ever know the total answer. I do know, it is love that still bonds us. Maybe that is why I am still tied to you, regardless of where you are right now.

My feelings for you are not of yesterday, they are still so present, so now. They don't fade with time, though the pain of separation has slowly become easier to handle.

Jesus says things that are bonded on earth are also bonded in heaven. The Bible says only 3 things will continue through eternity: Hope, Faith, Love.

I guess I will be feeling this till I see you again, on the back side of the mirror.
I love you.